Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
