if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
