We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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