did you get engaged???
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if only i could text you this smell
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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