just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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