Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
