4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Christians are straight up FREAKS
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
