I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize