my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
