Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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