i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What a dumb baby whore.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
