I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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