i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
