Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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