i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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