There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
where does the pee come out of this thing
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
