Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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