sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
