he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
