not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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