is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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