She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
