Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
