She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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