My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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