I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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