Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
