I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
