i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
