My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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