I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
