we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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