Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
