omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
