his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
