im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
