no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
