Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
