Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wear drunk well.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
