My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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