my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
