Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
