Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
