Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize