he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
