he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am one with the molecules
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we're so committed to being not committed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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