idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
