He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
