Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
