eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
